Like the ole country song, “…the girls all get prettier at closing time,…” it seems that GOP politicians all get dumber at election time.

Bob McDonnell

As the liberal establishment get their panties in a bunch over GOP gubernatorial candidate Bob McDonnell’s current predicament involving an old thesis he wrote in the 1980s espousing strong conservative values, the candidate has spent 2 days tripping over his own shoe strings working on damage control.

Bob has not been noted for his street smarts or political intellect.

He violated Moe Rowe’s No. 1 campaign axiom.

Back in the early ‘90s 2nd District Rep. Owen Pickett had problems. He was best known for being anti-media. Media unfriendly. He was a good legislator, having served years in the General Assembly before going to Congress. But the media was the enemy. And he had a stupid, paranoid chief of staff who was terrified of the media. She didn’t know how to handle media relations so she kept Pickett secluded, unavailable for the most part.

Until I came along the strategy was to minimize Pickett’s media encounters.

Owen Pickett

The first thing I did, and Pickett has told this to other politicians as being the best advice I ever gave him: Don’t be afraid of the media, but: Answer the question and SHUT UP!

I explained how the boys and bimbos of the hair-sprayed TV world have no expertise about anything.

I told Pickett, “These people are good people, but ‘hit and run’ reporters with no time to know anything about anything. So they come from the erection of a stop sign and they want to interview you about N. Korea.” They don’t know anything about N. Korea, I explained to him.

Pickett was on the House Armed Services Committee and he knew a whole lot about N. Korea. Until I came along it was the normal practice of Pickett to try to ‘explain answers’ to the media, in response to questions to help them ‘make and fake’ a story they didn’t have enough sense to get. otherwise.

My strategy, which he followed very effectively: Instead of hiding from the media, he would be 100% available to the media. Take any questions. However, he would only answer the question asked – and provide no explanatory remarks that would lead to another questions – and sit back for the next question. If the media then mumbled out a dumb question, he was instructed to ask the reporter, “Exactly how do you mean that? Or what is it exactly that you want to know.”

First few weeks of that kind of strategy, Pickett smiled. He knew we had ‘em by the balls.

He had never been available to the national media, but 60 Minutes wanted to interview him hypocrisy of taking big tobacco campaign money and sitting on the subcommittee that sold unhealthy tobacco to military personnel at a discounted price.

His chief of staff totally opposed, but I explained to Pickett I would get the questions in advance and he could have his answers ready. “They’ll give them to you?” he asked. “Yep,” I said. They did and Pickett came off beautifully in the interview. He couldn’t believe all the missed opportunities he’d had for major publicity.

Late Norm Sisisky

Now 4th District Rep., the late Norman Sisisky, was more of a back slapper, liked to be liked and yuk it up with the media. Once in the ‘90s when he voted for a Clinton budget (Pickett didn’t), a reporter asked him why as a conservative, he voted for the budget, Norman said, “I never said I was a conservative!”

The next campaign his opponent, fundamentalist X-preacher man George Sweet and his GOP opponent had good ole Norm repeating that line over and over much to his chagrin – shooting himself in the foot in every commercial. (The Sweet mysteriously dropped out of the race and rumors abound!)

I told Pickett: See what happens when you freelance comments?

Had Bob McDonnell been under my tutelage, he would never have given the Washington Post information in the interview that would send reporters digging through his old college records. The existence of the document wasn’t known until Big-Mouth Bob mentioned it.

George Allen

Oh! Want to know Moe’s No. 2 campaign axiom? And this is another freebie out of my play book: If you aren’t a comedian, don’t try to be funny! X-Governor and Senator George Allen has probably figured that one out by now!

Keep Macacas out of the campaign rhetoric. It was funny, but not to politically-correct, overly-sensitized main stream media who now have Macacas in their own newsrooms

So what damage control strategy should McDonnell follow? He’s done it pretty well except he was way too slow: Explain that the paper was then. This is now. Times change. So do opinions. ‘Nuff said. Anything more is additional fodder, Bob.